Reject Thyself
by iYaoi
Summary: Rejected by his parents at 19, Akihi's lost himself in the world of pornography as his only way to survive in this conservative town that holds its own secrets. YAOI If you don't like it, keep scrolling.


Welcome to my first non-fanfiction story. This one, I plan on being a bit risque by mixing religion, homosexuality, and the porn industry all into one. I advertised this story on my other account **undertakenheart** and hopefully I'll remember to tell that account's readers to try this story on for size. I highly doubt this will get much attention but I always wanted to try something of my own creation. In the future, I really want to write stories that help open the world to accepting homosexuality. (Just so you guys know, I'm straighter than a picture frame but I hate how people hate others because of their orientation) Please write any feedbacks and corrections/suggesstions that could help improve my writing.

**_Reject Thyself_**

**_Chapter 1_**

**_Escaping Me_**

**Akihi's POV**

'Mother, father, I didn't know you'd let go of me so easily.'

We were all around the dinning room table, enjoying mother's meal that she'd spent her evening preparing. Father was home that night to actually spend enough time with us. He had just come back from Indonesia on a mission for our church. I remember clearly, we had held each others hands in prayer, led by father off course, and they shared their experiences they had during their time apart. But that night, I wasn't in the mood to speak up. Not out of anger, or depression, but in contemplation. I was so afraid, so afraid on how to word it so that you could accept it. Sadly I was wrong...

The outcome would've been the same.

**Third Person POV**

"... and eighty six of the attendees were baptized," the successful pastor, Ryutaro announced. His wife, Ayane, lovingly looked at him and was proud at her husband's accomplishments.

"Akihi and I are just so happy that you're back, love." She took a spoonful of white rice and a shrimp in between her lips as she looked towards her unusually quiet son, Akihi.

"He doesn't seem like it," his father mentioned. "Akihi," there was no movement of acknowledgment from the sixteen year old. "Akihi," his father attempted again.

Akihi set down his chopsticks before looking towards his mother for approval, "May I be excused mother? I don't feel well tonight." Ayane looked towards her husband and answered, "Ask your father, Akihi."

Akihi looked in the direction of his father but never quite reached the man's solid deep blue eyes. "Father?" he looked up at him with a heartbreaking expression, "May I? I don't feel well," he repeated.

"Son," Ryutaro began, "the Lord is telling me something troubles you. If you were to sleep with a burden on your shoulders now, I wouldn't feel like I've accomplished my duty as a father," he explained.

'It's not anything you can change, father...' Akihi thought solemnly. "I'll deal with it on my own father, I just wish to have some time alone."

"Akihi," his mother warned, "Your father just returned from a mission and hasn't been able to speak with you for six weeks and now you wish to cut this evening short?" Ayane felt hurt that maybe her lack of attention towards their son made him become so introverted in that period of time.

"No mother, that's not it, I just..." Akihi tried.

"What is it?" Ryutaro demanded.

In situations like these, Akihi chewed on his bottom lip to gather his remaining courage. Tell the truth and suffer the consequences or lie and go against all he's been taught. His God was his number one priority, along with all of his teachings. If it were up to Akihi, he would never be like this.

His lips quivered as they slowly parted, just like how time slowed when he uttered, "I, I kissed...um..."

Ryutaro gave him a confused look, "Akihi, if all of this is because you had your first kiss, it's alright, you're sixteen. As long as you didn't have sex before marriage, it's alright if you..."

"If this is why you're so worried, then why act like you've done something..." Ayane was cut off when he finished.

"I kissed Yoichiro," Akihi looked up at them and studied the confused look they shared.

"Is this a girl in your class?" Ayane attempted. When she'd heard the name, she first thought of Ryutaro's colleague's son but that wasn't imaginable. So, normally, she questioned if it was someone from Akihi's high school.

With Akihi rejecting her want for a reply, more choking silence filled the room. Ryutaro and Ayane were only left with their thoughts to sort out. All possibilities of Yoichiro being Ryutaro's colleague's son was thrown out.

"Akihi," his father pressed when no answer returned. Ryutaro's diminishing belief that it wasn't Tomohisa Obuchi's son had him questioning Akihi further.

"Father, it's not a girl in my class," Akihi hinted.

Ayane tried to remove the tense atmosphere by denouncing, "Akihi, you're worrying about something to much. Your father just came back from Indonesia and I don't think you should be thinking to deeply into your first kiss. Why act this way when...?"

"Tomohisa-san's son, Yoichiro," he answered their wavering questions. Ryutaro and Ayane quietly sat at the table as they warily eyed their son.

"Akihi, don't play anything on us. This isn't the kind of matter to fool around with, especially with us as your parents. Now, stop this." Ayane wished. She looked over with worry at her husband. Ryutaro had his eyes firmly on the white rice and shrimp in front of him, denying to himself that what Akihi said was the truth.

Akihi's rain forest green eyes looked at his father with slight fear. He's never seen his father as upset as he did now, and the man hadn't even accepted that what Akihi said was true yet.

"Are you lying to us, Akihi, for the sake of a joke?" Akihi sadly shook his head as he continued to look at his father. 'What will he do? It was either tell the truth or lie.'

Ryutaro quietly stood up from his seat and called out for Ayane to follow him, leaving Akihi alone at the table with only his curious thoughts to keep him company.

**Akihi's POV**

Later that night, as if to add salt to my still bleeding wound, I was woken up in the middle of the night by mother and father's arguing. Usually, whenever parents argue, their children conclude that it's their fault. However, this isn't one of those times.

**Third Person POV**

"I've been gone for a little over a month and he's come to us with this..this thing? That he kissed Tomohisa's son?!" Ryutaro yelled at his shaken wife behind closed doors.

Her emerald green eyes looked at the door after seeing the shadow from under the exit. Surely, Akihi was listening to what was being said. "I'm not happy about this either. It's one of the most disgusting sins to be committed. We raised him to follow the book by the letter. I don't support this one bit. I just..."

Ryutaro exhaled and took a step away from his wife. He wasn't in the right mind at the moment and he knew that if he didn't get away to diffuse the situation, he would do something he'd regret. "Ayane, why would this come up?"

"I'm not sure," Ayane attempted.

"Maybe some therapy will help this situation. Surely it's a stage Akihi's going through," Ryutaro tried to ease his fears.

**Akihi's POV**

On the other side of the door, I listened, trying to deny to myself again and again that what I'm hearing is true. But with every passing second, what they said got worse to the point where tears flowed through my eyes. I was sixteen and was crying from what my parents said about me. Someone at my age would just say screw it, but did their parents say they needed therapy to fix a 'situation' that I didn't bring upon myself.

How could so many say it's a choice to be this way? Did I choose to be rejected by my parents who've cared for me since my birth? Did I ask to be diagnosed as 'crazy' for what I feel is true? Did I want to be ridiculed by society, with death threats right outside my door?

If I chose to be like this, then I would've picked up a pistol, stuck it into my mouth, and have pulled the trigger.

It's the same thing others would think I wanted. If it's a disease, where's the cure? I don't want to be next in line to be hung for my orientation. It's not because of how I am that I'm so depressed, it's how people take it, handle it, and interpret it. This 'disease' per say.

For the next three years, I was kept at home, not allowed to leave the house, and most importantly, not allowed to see Yoichiro again. I was home schooled by my mother and a therapist came to have three hour sessions with me daily, but how I felt never wavered. In fact, it only seemed to encourage a rebellious side to me I never knew existed.

That's when I met Yukizawa Shougo, a raging alcoholic, but the only one who accepted me and didn't try to change who I was. He was the only person, other than Yoichiro, that took me in his arms and said it's alright to be like that. At the time, I didn't know he was 'like' me. Shougo could go along with the rest of them, without anyone knowing how he was. A lot of 'us' are like that, including me. Maybe that's why I never knew I was like that myself. You know...being gay.

At nineteen was when I started to sneak out of the house to meet up with Shougo at one of his clubs. He was twenty one at the time. I guess that's where I started with my rebellion. The thrill it brought to me whenever I'd leave the house through my bedroom window and go to one of his clubs. But I never went far enough to drink or do anything...inappropriate. I still kept God first.

That is until my father broke down the one thing I held for myself...

**Third Person POV**

Akihi climbed through his window with haste after seeing his father's car outside the house. The usual chills of leaving the house without anyone noticing racked through his body. This kind of high always felt good after being confined to the house for three years.

What Akihi didn't know was that Ryutaro, his father, sat on his bed waiting for hopefully his son's return.

When Akihi climbed into his room, he felt his breath get caught in his chest when he saw the large figure sitting on his bed. 'Father...what...?' Fear stricken, he stayed close to the window and waited to be acknowledged.

"Where have you been, Akihi?" Ryutaro's voice showed no room for lies. But then, where'd the truth get Akihi, confinement for three years and therapy daily.

"I was..." his lips couldn't stop quivering.

"Akihi," his father warned.

Akihi's heart threatened to tear through his chest. "Father, I just wanted to get out of the house."

"That doesn't answer 'where have you been?'" Ryutaro pressed on.

"I," Akihi tried again but stopped himself while he was ahead, "Yukizawa nightclub," he confessed.

It may be short but this is just a test to see if I should post the second chapter of this. Leave your feedback and maybe I could start a reply section in my author's notes at the beginning of each chapter. Who knows? **Review Please!**


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